When most people imagine a child molester, they picture some ugly, old man in a trench coat coaxing children to come to him in exchange for some candy. They don’t picture Uncle John or Aunt Mary the neighbor next door or the friendly parishioner; another family member or trusted co-worker. They don’t think of mom or dad, or in the case of single parents, their significant other. This misconception has been effectively dispelled through information obtained in thousand of child sexual abuse investigations over the years. Child molesters-Pedophiles come from all walks of life and from all socioeconomic groups. They can be male or female, rich or poor, employed or unemployed, religious or non-religious, highly educated or non-educated, or from any race. It usually is those that hide behind the cloak of normality and respectability within our community that are the worst offenders of them all. As they will thrive on this respect and the control over their victim, in knowing that he/she can convince many other’s that the child is lying and is looking for attention. The US Department of Justice has developed characteristics and behavioral indicators of a pedophile. They are as follows:1)Is most often an adult male. 2)Is usually married.3)Works in a wide range of occupations, from unskilled laborer to corporate executive, to within the Judiciary, Law Enforcement, Medical Community ,Religious Orders. 4)Relates better to children than adults, and likes to always be around children, pretending to love and care for them, whilst planning their own sick alternative agenda. 5.)Socializes with few adults unless they are pedophiles. He/She will be a very private person so as to ensure that their sick interest in children is not revealed.6)Usually prefers children in a specific age group. He/She will have a specific type of child that they target. Like all other abusers in life, they have their own criteria for a victim7)Usually prefers either males or females, but may be bi-sexual H e /She may abuse a specific gender or sometimes they have no preference as they just enjoy the control of abuse of a child, irrespective of gender.8)May seek employment or volunteer with programs involving children of the age of his preference .How many times have we seen Teachers, Coaches etc who were employed to work with our children, to turn out to be the most dangerous people to have around our

children. No group of our community or person can ever be ignored as a possible Pedophile if their are signs showing.9)Pursues children for sexual purposes. He /She wants to ensure that they get their sexual gratification from Abusing a Child or a little baby. To these Pedophiles sexual relations with a child or baby is normal and they thrive on the control over the child/baby, which makes their sick sexual experience in their mind even better.10)Frequently photographs or collects photographs of his victims, either dressed, nude, or in sexually explicit acts. He/She always wants to have lots of images of children around so that at any stage he/she can relieve themselves sexually, or plan on what they will doin abusing this child11)Collects child erotica and child-adult pornography. Again to these people this is normal and they sadly learn how not to get caught and how to inflict as much pain as possible onto their victim from other pedophiles. They have their own language.12)May possess and furnish narcotics to his victims to lower their inhibitions. Sometimes a child can fight too much against their abuser, so they are drugged in order to subdue them.13)Is usually intelligent enough to recognize that he has a persona problem and understand the severity of it. Pedophile’s know that society in general has no tolerance for them, that they are hated andif incarcerated their life will be hell. But they are intelligent and manipulate situations so their detection can take a long time to berevealed.14)May go to great lengths to conceal his illegal activity .Staying hidden from the world, is all part of this sick game of control and abuse to a Pedophile. He/She will do anything that they have to in order to retain this control for as long as possible.15)Often rationalizes his/her illicit activities, emphasizing his positive impact upon the victim and repressing feelings about the harm tha the has done.

16) Often portrays the child as the aggressor. This usually occurs after the child realizes that by withholding “sexual favors” the child will obtain what he or she desires, such as new toys, clothing or trips. They brain train their victims17)Talks about children in the same manner as one would talk about an adult lover or spouse. As to them this is their lover or spouse. Insome cases the girl will have to live life as the partner of the abuser in every way as an adult would.18)Often was a child molestation victim and frequently seeks out children at the age or stage of physical development at which he was molested .So many will try to explain their abuse of a child as it beenall that they knew, as it was done to them. This is total Bull, as they knew the pain it caused, so they know the pain they are inflicting. They are using this to try to justify their abuse to other’s and to get as shorter sentence in court.

19)Often seeks out publications and organizations that support his sexual beliefs and practices. They have their own Community online .Whether it is on Facebook or Twitter or Google or even on LinkedIn, they are within every community where they might have access tochildren.20)Usually corresponds with other pedophiles and exchanges childpornography and erotica as proof of involvement. This is a secret club that only those within it are aware of. They have their own language ,signs and it is through this that they can hide behind the radar for along time. As they all watch each other’s backs.21)Is usually non-violent and has few problems with the law(pedophiles are frequently respected community members).As I said above the worst offenders of Child Abuse are those that hide behind the cloak of respectability and normality in life.22)The widespread misconception that child molestation consists solely of children being seized from the street and forcibly molested couldn’t be further from the truth. Although these incidents do occur, the vast majority of child molesters are adults who seduce children through subtle intimidation and persuasion and are known to the child.

The most dangerous place for 97% of children who are abused in life, is within their own HOME. The incestuous or interfamilial molester is usually an adult male(father, stepfather, grandfather or live-in boyfriend of the mother ,sister or aunt) who molests the child or children. Although physical abuse may occur, the molestation is usually secretive and is accomplished through mental duress and threats – that the child would be removed from the family if he/she did not succumb to his wishes, that he/she would be blamed for hurting the family if the offender is arrested, or that a sibling would be sexually abused if the victim did not consent. The molestation occurs over an extended period of time, occasionally into the victim’s adulthood. Through intimidation, the child is made tofeel responsible for the molestation and for keeping the acts secret. This secret is normally kept between the offender and the victim, or within the immediate family. The stranger molester will use force or fear to molest children. As the term implies, the child does not know the molester. This type of molestation is usually reported promptly to the police because the trauma to the child is readily apparent. This abuse is far less common than the normal family involved abuse of a child. As it is so much easier to hide it from behind closed doors, than to risk taking an unknown child. The possibility of exposure doing this is far too high, hence why most children taken under these circumstances are sadly murdered. The single-parent family is particularly vulnerable to the pedophile; the parent usually has a full-time job and is attempting to fulfill the role of both parents, as well as run the household. In many cases the parent is unable to provide the psychological support the child needs .These situations may contribute to the success of the child molester who can and will provide the caring attention, however superficial that may be lacking at home. Of course, domestic problems in intact families also can make children vulnerable to the pedophile. It should be noted as well, many pedophiles seek out mothers of single-parent families for the purpose of victimizing their children. The most effective means of protecting your child is communication with your child. They have to feel comfortable discussing sensitive

matters with you. If they don’t feel they can talk with you about their true feelings or that they will be “put down” for it, then you can’t expect they will tell you when they are put in an uncomfortable situation by a child molester. Don’t have your child afraid to speak to you about their bodies. Teach them that it is alright to tell if they are scared or hurt, and that no matter what, they will be believed. Teach your children that they should not be asked to touch anyone inthe bathing suit areas of their body or allow anyone to touch them in those areas .But most of all teach them total Body Safety matters, tell them the real names for their genitals, don’t try to make them feel awkward by giving them names such as private area etc. This only instills a taboo and a fear of speaking out if something happens to them. We call our fingers our fingers and our Mouth our Mouth, so why not call our Genitals by their name either a Penis or a Vagina. The children are not the one’s with the issues on the names of these areas, the adults are. To educate your child on abuse is to help to protect them. Don’t be ignorant to the fact that it can’t and won’t happen to your child, as I am telling you that it can and it will if you don’t protect them.